BOULDER—The countdown to chaos is almost up. Emily Gaud thinks today will be crazy. Someone went to jail last night and everyone wants to know what happened. Gaud ignores the questions and ducks through the entrance of the First Presbyterian Church Annex on 1820 15th Street. When the doors open at 9:00 a.m., Gaud must be prepared for the day.
At 8:58 a.m. noise saturates the walls of the First Presbyterian Annex. A mixture of rising voices penetrates the otherwise obstinate atmosphere of the crisp, bright Tuesday morning.
Gaud whisks a small blonde woman into the first door on the left after the entrance of the Annex and shuts the door behind her. She locks it for good measure. The voices get louder as waves of people spill into the building. Faces peek curiously through the window.
“Okay, let’s pray,” said Gaud, “before I get overwhelmed. Today is going to be crazy.”
After praying over the building and the women they would encounter that day, Gaud unlocks the door. Gaud stands at the door wearing a bright purple turtleneck sweater, a black skirt, black tights, and brown boots. She greets the homeless women who trickle in with a scrupulous smile. Unless they are first timers, she intimately knows each of their stories.
The room floods with natural light as the sun rises higher in the morning sky and the smell of Starbucks’ Christmas blend perks up the room. Two green tubs of donated pastries lay out on one of four long brown tables. The promise of a warm beverage and a sweet bite catch the interest of several women as they file into the room.
Tuesdays are advocacy days. Gaud brings laptops for the women to use to assist in not only job searches and housing searches but appointment making. Two donated laptops recently arrived, allowing more people to participate at once. Many women need help scheduling surgeries and figuring out if their Medicaid is active.
“A lot of women need someone to do stuff with them,” Gaud said. “Some older women aren’t used to listening for the menu, for example. We are the bridge between people and resources.” She emphasizes that the Reverence Movement seeks to empower women, not to enable them. Beyond providing the service, volunteers hope to encourage homeless women to find jobs and housing on their own by making those resources accessible.
About 57.3 percent of the homeless in Boulder County are women, according to the Metro Denver Homeless Initiative. The Reverence Movement was established in hopes of one day seeing everyone off the streets.
Pastor Dan Rutty began his ministry with a question—who is the least, the lowest in the eyes of Boulder society? “Our mission is to serve those overlooked by the rest of society,” Rutty said. “We got started by really seeking out those with the greatest need in the community. We found that in Boulder’s homeless women.”
The leaders of the Reverence Movement do not require that women be Christians to receive any kind of help. They don’t offer extra incentives for conversion. They choose to lead by example and hope the women they encounter recognize something different in their lives.
At 9:45 a.m., the room is full. Women are on the phone making doctor’s appointments and requesting copies of restraining orders. Women are on laptops searching for housing and applying for jobs. Some women are asking their advocates for legal advice.
“People need someone who cares,” Louella Wadle, 66, recently housed, said of the members of the Reverence Movement. “They don’t just do it for me, they do it for everyone.” She explains that Gaud and Rutty, the Reverence Movement’s pastor, are different than workers at shelters because they don’t forget people as soon as they walk out the door. Instead, they work to build relationships with the women.
About 47.8 percent of Boulder’s homeless are between the ages of 25 and 54. About 10.4 percent are above the age of 55, giving Boulder a wide age range for those without a home, according to the Metro Denver Homeless Initiative. Wadle is keenly aware of the difficulties of getting older on the streets. She is thankful she found housing when she did. She doubts she would have lasted too many more birthdays.
At 10:20 a.m., tensions run high. A woman is angry that progress is not happening faster. She gets increasingly agitated when the people around her tell her everything will be okay. Shouts of frustration beget conflict, heralding a decent into chaos. Gaud remains friendly but firm. She will not waiver.
“We will not say there is no way for you to get housing because God is bigger,” Gaud said. Her tone slices through any burgeoning panic. She reestablishes order. Gaud does not get sidetracked by the doubts or complaints expressed by the women she helps. She resists despair and moves forward at every opportunity.
It is Nov. 18, Kari Kozlowski’s first day as a volunteer with the Reverence Movement. Formerly, she was a social worker involved in Medicaid. Now with a husband and two children she is no longer part of the work force. However, she wanted to use her experience to help people. Friends of hers working at First Presbyterian Church pointed her to the Reverence Movement, so Kozlowski was able to connect with Gaud.
On her first day, one particular challenge struck her right away.
“The unpredictability of people is the hardest part. Everyone gets to make their own choice. You can give them resources but you can’t force them to use those resources,” Kozlowski said. “Ultimately, God is in control.”
Kozlowski begins the day timidly. She does not know the women and is not relaxed like Gaud. The women don’t fully trust her either. They don’t want to tell her with what they need help. Throughout the day however, Kozlowski grows more confident in herself and more comfortable around the homeless women. Once she begins to relax, the others relax around her as well.
Gaud fields shouted requests for her attention from all directions, ranging from questions on how to work the computers, to personal stories, to complaints, to questions about the schedule for the following week. She is handed a cell phone and she steps in to inquire about a section 8 voucher extension. She steps in when there is a possibility a woman is being taken advantage of or ignored because of her homelessness. She speaks calmly and with authority to the person on the phone.
At 10:36 a.m., a woman has been on hold for over an hour attempting to schedule a surgery in Denver to fix a hernia that is causing her great pain. She finally succeeds. She is elated to find out her Medicaid is still active.
About 22.4 percent of Boulder’s homeless population report having serious medical and/or physical conditions, according to the Metro Denver Homeless Initiative. This can make it difficult for people to hold down a job or even obtain one. Without a job, it is difficult if not impossible to get treatment for the condition. The cycle is ruthless.
“I met Emily through the Boulder Homeless Women’s Initiative,” Carrie Leonard, three years homeless, said. “Emily is my case manager, she is on my ass all the time, but that’s what I need. She shows me that I should have faith in people and in God.”
Three years ago, Leonard and her fiancé were evicted. Her fiancé died at an emergency warming center. Her best friend, CJ, died in April 2014 from exposure. “I got more support from the community than from the agencies,” Leonard said. She explains how much people care about each other out on the streets because they are all each other has. When her fiancé died, new friends rallied around her to protect and provide for her.
“My ultimate goal is for, instead of me going to visit my grand babies, for them to come visit me,” Leonard said. Leonard’s daughter and her grandchildren are the only family she discusses. After the deaths of two people she deeply cared about, she hesitates to get closer to people than she has to.
About 35.9 percent of Boulder County’s homeless are single parents. About 72.1 percent of the homeless population in general has children, whether single or coupled, reported the Metro Denver Homeless Initiative. For many women involved in the Reverence Movement, there is a deep desire to make their children proud by getting off the streets.
At 11:30 a.m. the room begins to empty. The last of the Starbucks coffee is poured into red paper cups. A group of homeless women discuss the volunteer work they will be doing that week at various thrift stores in return for vouchers. They can earn bus passes and food vouchers for their work.
About 53.7 percent of Boulder’s homeless received money in the past month from a place of employment, said the Metro Denver Homeless Initiative. The struggle for the women isn’t always getting a job. Often, they begin earning too much to receive benefits from the state without yet being able to support themselves.
A perpetual cycle of being unable to get ahead of payments keeps women on the streets despite being employed. With 19 percent of Boulder’s homeless having been on the street for over three years—up two percent from 2013—getting off the streets is not always simple nor is it easy without proper access to a support system.
At 11:34 a.m. a loud argument erupts in the hallway. A woman and a man don’t agree on who owes who cigarettes. The elevated voices create tension in the room. Verbal and physical fights between men and women are not uncommon on the streets.
The Reverence Movement created a unique space in Boulder when it introduced its women’s only day shelter in January 2014. The exclusivity allows women to be vulnerable without being fearful.
Homeless shelters in Boulder do not require men and women to be separate. This allows for an environment of sexual harassment that often extends beyond the walls of the shelter.
Mandi Singer is a homeless woman in her 40s. She has been homeless for about four years and found the Reverence Movement in late August of 2014 through two other homeless women.
“They told me they have a day shelter. They told me they give out resources,” Singer said.
In July of 2010, Singer began struggling with her health. After a falling out with her mother and step-father, Singer found herself on the streets in Colorado Springs. She was allowed to set up camp in public places, which is illegal in Boulder. Many property owners didn’t mind if tents were set up on their land.
She explained that she had been assaulted more than once by homeless men. Singer heard that Boulder was unique in its attention to the needs of homeless women in particular. In
January of 2014, she packed up her things.
Singer admitted that her struggle with meth addiction contributed to her situation. Her husband is currently in prison for dealing the drug. However, she is now committed to keeping clean. She avoids energy drinks as that’s a potent trigger.
“The Reverence Movement has taught me that there are good people out there. It’s not like shelters where you just stay and leave and they forget your name. Emily and the rest of the volunteers, they remember you. They know your story. It makes you feel like a person,” Singer said.
She is worried about winter, but for now she has Boulder Outreach for Homeless Overflow. Boulder Outreach for the Homeless Overflow works with organizations like the Reverence Movement to provide shelter and, according to their website, “fill gaps in the social safety net.”
“I was assaulted in June,” Singer said. “The shelter is not a safe place. The restraining order I have isn’t valid at the shelter. They won’t kick him out when it’s freezing outside so I have to be around him.” Singer returns to the shelter each night in order to survive, but she sees her attacker every day. She surrounds herself with friends that will help look out for her so he doesn’t go after her again.
“We can’t lose our humanity out here on the streets,” Singer said. It’s the only thing they have left.
At 11:50 a.m. Gaud finishes up with a large stack of paperwork. There is a focused, intentional routine in her filing. She makes sure everyone’s papers are tucked away neatly and safely. Next Tuesday, they will be needed again. Gaud believes that official preparation helps the women feel like they are being taken seriously. The papers are now carefully organized into a purple folder that almost precisely matches the hue of her sweater.
Two women discuss the Boulder Public Library’s policy changes. They are no longer allowed to use the sinks to bathe. They believe they can still get away with it so long as they clean up after themselves and don’t make a scene.
At 11:54 a.m. voices are raised again.
“Stop saying can’t,” Gaud said. Her tone is sharp, reprimanding, but remains loving. The woman she is talking to begins to argue. She does not believe that she can get housing because her Section 8 was not renewed. She is angry; she believes Gaud does not fully understand the gravity of the situation.
From memory, Gaud responds with Philippians 4:8. “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things,” Gaud said.
The woman sighs; the tension dissipates. The atmosphere resettles into something light and friendly. Everyone tries to talk to Gaud, whether to simply tell her a story or ask for help. The other volunteers respond, but they are not called upon as frequently.
Gaud starts to sing ‘Fancy,’ the hit song by Iggy Azalea. The women lingering in the meeting room laugh and sing along. They have nothing. They are far from living the indulgent, fancy life of which the song boasts. But they have each other and they have a moment of laughter; for now that is enough.
It is common to assume that people largely become homeless due to alcohol and substance abuse. However, according to the Metro Denver Homeless Initiative’s 2014 annual assessment of reasons for homelessness in Boulder County, alcohol and drug abuse accounts for 17.8 percent of housing loss, relationship or family break-ups account for 28.5 percent, unaffordable housing accounts for 34.7 percent, and mental health and emotional issues account for 23.6 percent.
About 8.7 percent of Boulder’s homeless population has served in the U.S. military. Only about 4.2 percent are receiving Veterans benefits, while a mere 2.2 percent are receiving Veterans Association health care.
At 12:10 p.m. the room has emptied. Gaud gathers up her documents and exits the church. Her car is jam-packed with trash bags full of donated items. Today, Gaud is delivering most of the bags to a recently housed woman; the rest will be put into a small storage unit.
“It can be stressful if you don’t set the scene,” Gaud said. “That’s why we pray in the beginning.” Even after the hectic morning, Gaud is calm, cool, and collected. She appears to be unfazed by the chaos as she drives.
1175 Lee Hill is Gaud’s destination. On Nov. 3, 2014, Boulder Housing Partners celebrated the grand opening of Boulder’s first permanently supportive housing for the chronically homeless The housing first initiative suggests that by first addressing the issue of homelessness, people will be more sufficiently able to get jobs, keep jobs, and kick addictions that are prevalent on the streets.
“Providing permanent, supportive housing for people experiencing chronic homelessness is both a compassionate response and a cost-effective approach to assisting this vulnerable population,” Angela McCormick, Chair of Boulder Housing Partners Board of Commissioners said. “Housing creates stability in people’s lives.”
With new opportunities on the horizon, monumental obstacles still must be overcome.
“As a caretaker, you have to figure out how to work within the system,” Gaud said. “The hard part is that there aren’t enough resources for people that need help.” The system, Gaud realizes, is deeply flawed.
Gaud arrives at 1175 Lee Hill and is greeted by a short, pleasant woman with graying hair and a gentle smile. The woman is eager to show Gaud her new home and keeps repeating how blessed she is. Gaud and the woman each carry armfuls of items from the car to the second floor where the woman lives. Girly placemats, silverware, a paper towel holder, a fuzzy rug, and a crock pot are among the items tucked underneath their arms.
At 12:58 p.m. Gaud is at the Reverence Movement office. She and Rutty decided to rent a space in April of 2014 in order to create an official spot for their work. Gaud’s side of the office is decorated with pictures of various women getting baptized and Bible verses painted in curly script. Rutty’s side of the office is all business.
“I’m exhausted,” Gaud said. “I’m ready to have a break.” She is going on a Christmas vacation with her family. “Holidays are hard for the homeless, but I know that if I don’t take a break I won’t be helpful to anyone.”
Gaud sits in a big cushy leather chair and it is almost as if she is in her own living room. She has made her office feel like home.
“You feel guilty. You need to figure out how to not take that burden on. I can’t fix the whole thing,” Gaud said. “We’re always trying to figure out what we can do, what God is calling us to do, and when to say no.”
On Mondays, Gaud works from home from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. She catches up with emails. From 12 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. she runs a day shelter. This is a safe place for women to hang out during the day. Bible studies, crafts, job searches, and more are conducted. Toward the end of the day, Gaud will meet with either Rutty or individual women.
On Tuesdays, Gaud holds advocacy days or drives to Longmont to help recently housed women connect with local resources.
On Wednesdays, Gaud meets with Rutty to coordinate for the rest of the week. She meets with homeless women that have reached out to her. She works to coordinate with other agencies, like the Boulder Outreach for the Homeless Overflow, in order to build bridges and create resources.
On Thursdays and Fridays, nothing is planned. However, the days usually get filled.
Once a month, The Reverence Movement serves a big dinner to the homeless.
On Sundays, there is worship, which includes singing and dancing. There is a Bible study held with the homeless and housed alike. This is intended to build community.
“I need to make sure I have a day by myself,” Gaud said. “That’s something that’s really hard in this field.” Gaud works to ensure a 40 hour boundary is set per week. She and Rutty keep each other accountable. They check in with each other through out the week to ensure they aren’t taking on too much at a time.
“I have to consciously not be overwhelmed,” Gaud said. “You have to come to peace with knowing you can’t fix everything you want to fix today so that you can get up and do it again tomorrow.”
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For more information about the Reverence Movement, you can access their website at http://www.reverencemovement.com/
Big thanks to everyone who shared their stories with me.
k.m.ragan 